How do you determine your birthday?
Well that appears to be the question, isn’t it? I mean, you can rely on eyewitness testimony or PRIMARY SOURCES (i.e. asking your parents when the post-9 month phenomenon occured) but there would be no objective way to verify that, right? I mean you could check your birth certificate but that could faked, or your passport, or the bottom of your ID card, or for that matter any form of evidence suggesting a particular date could all be a lie. For all you know, you could have been alive before Christ and not remember a thing. Or not even alive. After all, memory is a funny thing, time is a fickle thing, and birthdays…well, they aren’t even a thing, to be fair.
But the real question should be why does it matter so much? What is the importance of birthdays? Why do we put so much emphasis on your conception? To most people in the modern world, their life has no purpose, no meaning, no ulterior motive to existing. So in essence, why do we care? Why do you care? Is it really for profoundly acknowledging and appreciating your conception and the essence of your existence writ large, or is it something more superficial, driven by the deepest materialistic desire to be rewarded for something you didn’t even do? I mean, to think that because you were born, someone owes you a Birkins bag and a thousand likes...let’s be honest, we don’t even know if anyone likes you (no offense haha).
Nonetheless, on behalf to the club, we’d like to wish you a VERY happy birthday (which is today, right? Or maybe not — who knows? Who cares?)
Much love,
Dear Letterbox
Image Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Birthday_to_You