Dear Beardless,
I feel your struggle and I would like to help, but I need to first let you know that genetics and hormones play a huge role in your ability to grow some fine facial foliage. If your dad has a fantastic mustache, the odds are you, too, will be able to grow a handsome handlebar in the near future. On the other hand, if your father can only sprout a patchy beard no matter how hard he tries, you’ll end up with a dirty squirrel above your lip, at best. Testosterone levels also determine facial hair growth, so if you’re still in high school, you can expect improvements for years to come, as testosterone production usually peaks between the ages of 18 and 20.
Genetics and hormones are hard to change, legally, so what actual steps can you take to grow a mouth mane that would leave Gandolf the Grey shaking in his boots? Improving blood flow and circulation is a start. Exercise not only gets the blood flowing, but strength training is also a natural testosterone booster. Moreover, eating a balanced diet helps prevent obesity, which has been shown to lower testosterone levels, and improves circulation. A diet rich in vitamins and minerals, such as zinc, iron, and B-vitamins, as well as healthy fats, will result in a high gloss, luxurious crumb catcher that is the envy of all your friends. Foods like sweet potatoes, oysters, eggs, spinach, cinnamon, nuts, legumes, whole grains, bananas, cauliflower, and mushrooms all contain nutrients essential for goatee growth.
If you’re in high school, it’s likely that you do not get the recommended 8-10 hours of sleep per night. Not only does that affect things like attention, memory, and mood, but sleep deprivation has also been shown to lead to a drop in testosterone, which can make growing a cool cookie duster even more difficult. Furthermore, keeping your face clean, exfoliated, and moisturized will give Santa’s seedlings the optimal environment to grow long and strong. Some people endorse various oils, such as olive, avocado, and castor to stimulate follicles, but their effectiveness has not been proven and you should always try to avoid pore-clogging substances whenever possible. Look for non-comedogenic facial products, and avoid dyes and fragrances if you can.
Whatever you do, don’t listen to the people who say shaving more often will lead to a bushier beard. If you’re really committed to knitting yourself a wooly lip sweater, be patient and just let it grow, even when things seem hopeless. Don’t try to trim or shape your facial hair for at least 4 to 6 weeks. Some people even need 90 days to reach their full potential.
Good luck!
Dear Letterbox
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