Dearest client,
The world of hair is elusive, particular, daring. Truly, innate human fragility and unstable emotional whims mean that a good or bad hair day can completely make or break your entire life experience. To combat this, humanity has harnessed brainpower—the masterpiece of millions of years of evolution—to create mechanics such as combs, straighteners, and curlers to tame the mess of dead skin cells we have residing on the top of our heads. In fact, hair is a problem that has grown to such degree that nowadays, we even have designated careers for it: people whose job is to work with our ever-so-stubborn manes. A staple of fashion, hair is something that has fascinated humans for centuries.
But even with all the development that humans have worked tirelessly on, wouldn’t it be much easier (and cheaper) to forego hair entirely? The mechanics used to tame hair don’t necessarily come cheap, and can be terribly time-consuming in their usages. In addition, hair really does get in the way of daily life, and can be a major inconvenience. For example, the other day, a small part of my hair fell into my wonton soup at breakfast and I didn’t notice until second block at school. If I had simply gone bald, that would not have been a problem.
On the other hand, having the right hair can completely elevate a look from “okay, I guess” to “YOOOOO” (see: “scrawny mother[redacted] with a cool hairstyle”). Having the adequate amount of hair to experiment with different hairstyles is quite fun as well. From a more pragmatic view, hair doesn’t only exist to drive us crazy and make us attractive at the same time: it actually helps protect our heads/scalps. If you go bald and regret it, it’ll also take a while to grow out, and you’ll probably have to go through at least three awkward hair phases during the process (unless you decide to stay bald, in which case, more power to you).
So to shave, or not to shave? That is the question.
I feel the need to preface this section of the response with a note that if you only want to go bald or change your appearance because you feel like you’re lacking control in some other area of your life, then you should not. If you want to take a razor and zzzzzzzzz all over your wondrous locks until they’re gone only because you want to be able to do something, then you should put down the razor, walk out of the bathroom, and go make yourself a sandwich. Because going through with a crass decision made in the midst of desperation is probably a decision you’ll regret later. Instead, you should find a better outlet for your feelings.
Seriously. Make a sandwich. It’s the cure-all.
If, however, you are wondering if you should go bald because you genuinely want to see what it’s like but are intimidated by the notion, I’d tell you to go for it. (However, if there exists even a shred of doubt in your heart, you might want to sleep on the idea some more.) Follow your dreams. Take risks. YOLO. If worse comes to worst, at least it’ll grow back.
And if it gets worse than that—well, hats exist for a reason, right?
Our sincerest regards,
Dear Letterbox