Hi friend!
Do you know a certain someone who texts too often? Perhaps they overestimate the intimacy of your relationship with them? We all have one of those people in our lives. Do you need a way to shake them off your metaphorical tail without being too obvious? Introducing Casper: The Friendly Ghost! Though Halloween has passed, it’s never too late to roleplay as the neighborhood’s friendly and respectable ghost.
“Caspering”, a technique sharing the namesake of the Friendly Ghost, is used to cut off contact with someone while still maintaining the facade of amicability (often in a romantic context, but still applicable platonically). “Caspering” is characterized as “offering [an] explanation before ghosting” (Scott), a viable strategy if you wish to be as kind as possible.
An example of “caspering” would be, “You’re a great person, but I just don’t think our relationship/friendship is working out. It was great getting to know you though”. Your text doesn’t have to be specific — it just has to be nice. After receiving the text, theoretically, the other person should understand your view on the relationship and begin to interact with you less. However, this form of communication can also invite undesired consequences. Just like Casper’s 3 uncles — The Ghostly Trio — who don’t understand his friendly and kind disposition, if the other person is particularly volatile or isn’t understanding, this method may provoke further angry or interrogative texts. Therefore, blending both “caspering” and “ghosting” may be more beneficial.
Instead of directly rejecting to contact the other person, you can deflect their attempts to contact and interact with you. Creating excuses may not be truthful or genuine, but it is a much easier way to let someone down. All you have to do is respond a few hours later with a simple “Sorry, I was doing homework.” This excuse is particularly effective as if the other person gets mad, they automatically are in the wrong for prioritizing their needs over your success in school. However, you can’t just keep rehashing the same excuses; sooner or later, they will see through your deflective excuses.
Here is a list of useful excuses if you want to avoid interacting with someone (Send these in your normal texting style as to not arouse suspicion):
“Sorry I was doing hw”
“I’m outside with my family”
“I was napping”
“I’m eating dinner” (Time specific: 17:00-19:30)
“My phone died”
“Omg I’m so busyyyyy rn/Sorry there isn’t enough time in life”
“I failed my testtttt. I’m too sad to talk rn” (Better if you did actually take a test, though it can work if they don’t know your schedule and classes)
“Sorry I was practicing *insert musical instrument*” (If you’re pretending, be consistent)
“I’m going to shower”
“Omg I fell asleep so early” (Different from napping — napping is voluntary)
“Hi I’m dying rn”
Sadly, if you want to still be seen as nice, you will have to either initiate a final conversation, or reply once every so often. If you cut them off immediately, there is no way to retain a “nice” image. Though tiresome at first, these methods will greatly decrease the amount of time you have to interact with that certain somebody. Good luck on your endeavor for some peace and quiet!
Happy belated Halloween and have fun ghosting!
Sincerely,
Dear Letterbox