Coming out to your parents can be a stressful, complicated process, especially if you have a parent who does not believe in or accept LGBTQ issues. When considering coming out to parents, you must first think about the benefits and consequences of your decision.
Do you think your mother will eventually accept you even if she initially rejects you?
Are there any indicators of potential safety issues that may result from you coming out?
What do you hope to accomplish by telling your mom you’re gay?
Basically, you need to think about the type of person your mother is and how extreme her reaction will be if you tell her you are gay, and if these reactions are worth the benefits of coming out. If you think she will be somewhat okay with the news or surprised but then accepting, then go ahead and plan a private conversation with your mom, thinking about the timing and location of the discussion. It’s inevitably going to be uncomfortable for both of you, but try your best to make it as comfortable as possible, in a private location at a low-stress time in the day. Many parents suspect that their child has been gay for quite some time before they come out so it’s not a total shocker when they actually do.
On the other hand, if you anticipate a more extreme reaction, such as getting thrown out of the house or physical violence, it would probably be in your best interest to take some time to help change your mother’s views through exposure and education. If that doesn’t work, you probably want to wait until you are out of the house and more independent before dropping the news since it will most likely change your relationship with her, at least temporarily.
It might also help to talk it over with your counselor and even do a role play to practice how you would come out.
Good luck!
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